I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize