you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
