she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
