your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He passed out mid-signature
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How naked do you want me to be?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
