As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
