In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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