Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Someone shit on the floor
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
