we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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