the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize