How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
