Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
