Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
