just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
