Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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