Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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