the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
