we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He passed out mid-signature
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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