come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize