Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
