He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
