Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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