Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
