Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
