If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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