Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
