i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
