Jerry, you need to find god
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
