When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
