she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
