A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
