Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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