Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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