you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize