Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
