You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
