You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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