his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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