like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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