watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
