I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
