I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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