we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
thus making me awesome and them whores
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
