I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
