My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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