I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Farmville is her only friend.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize