the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize