There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
