I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
