I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
