Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize