I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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