I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
