I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it was like eating out sand paper
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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