Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
