Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
