Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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