I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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