I puked a lego.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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