Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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