i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
