We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
