ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize