things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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